Could you really imagine a future without Walmart? That was the impetus for an unlikely scene this morning. Walmart and restroom sponge-bathing.  Saucy stuff. I cooked up another batch of words today and getting them onto the page was a little easier than yesterday.  Though, my plan for an early morning start almost backfired. There was some chaos and some near-disappointment.  Bottom line is I just need to wake up thirty minutes earlier.  I’m happy to report that my socks match but I’m not wearing any under wear so it’s pretty much a draw.  I still had enough time to get the words in before the whistle blew. Just barely.  The real problem was–I could have easily kept going.  Now that I’m a day in on the new project, the gears are really spinning.  This is heartening because I didn’t think I’d still be able to make all the wacky connections that us writerly folk make.  There is hope!

New project word count: 1000

In recent months, I’ve been telling friends and family that I don’t feel like a writer anymore.  A writer writes, after all, that just hasn’t been happening–sorry to say.   Sometimes, life throws us a curve and sometimes that curve ball hits us directly in the face, breaking a cheekbone and sending a few teeth flying to the asphalt. My money-maker has seen better days. Despite the universe’s intentions to slow me down, I have resolved to not give up. To that end, I got up early this morning (thank you time change!) and sat down in front keyboard. I’m not going to lie, it’d been so long since I’d assumed the ‘writer’s pose’ I was a little uncomfortable.  I immediately began to think of ways I cold procrastinate. Was I still hungry? Maybe I needed some caffeine first.  Drop and gimme twenty!  Yeah–I can be clever when it comes to killing time. But then I spoke one simple phrase.

“I *will* write.”  

I had no clear notion of what I was going to write, but just that I had no choice.  I stood at the crossroads of now and never. Never meant giving up and to my core I didn’t want to do that.   Suddenly, my fingers were moving and, there was poor, sweaty Arnie digging his own grave trying to figure out if he was going to be eating dirt or seeing the sun rise again.  The timer was set for thirty minutes–I didn’t want to over-extend myself–and for thirty minutes I wrote.  I wasn’t concerned about plot. I wasn’t concerned about grammar.  It was about filling the page. The end result was a scene that didn’t suck and rediscovery of an almost forgotten feeling of exhilaration.   Bottom line. Even if your cheek is stinging from fate’s left hook,  don’t give up on your passions.  They will ultimately get you through the mess.

My goal here at PhilRossi.net is daily entries that will chronicle my journey back to being a writer.  It all starts here.

New Project word count: 500.

photo credit Shaleigh Comerford.

2011—you were an interesting year.

You brought good, you brought bad, and you brought a lot in between.  In surviving you, I learned quite a bit.  I learned that I’m a lot more courageous than I ever would have imagined. I learned that the love that surrounds me is genuine.   I made new relationships. I lost a few—some harder to see go than others.  2011–there was thick and there was thin and through it all, I learned what friendship really means.  I learned the true strength of family.

You were a year of creativity. I made huge strides in my music. I wrote some of my best songs while you raged or cooed around me.  I watched my band evolve and grow into something more magnificent than I would have thought possible.   Though I did not make as much fiction writing progress as I would have liked, I still put to paper a handful of short stories and saw the release of my novella (and one of my personal favorites) Eden.  A total wash? Not by any stretch.

2011—your best gift to me was the ever-dazzling miracle of my daughters. You gave me the time to watch them grow, to watch them discover themselves, and ultimately discover the world around them.  I learned that I am a good father, a lucky man, and at times, somewhat of a pushover.

I’m ready to leave you behind, my dear 2011.   Where you were a year of change, I’m now ready for a year of progress and that’s exactly what 2012 is going to be.

-Phil Rossi

EDEN is coming:

As this condition of unemployment persists, so does the daily task of job hunting.  My lovely wife commented, quite innocently that, “You know, you’re going to have to cut your hair when you start going on job interviews.”   Too which I replied “Of course!” But on the inside, I was screaming like she had torn both my arms off.

It’s widely known that I love my hair.

You can help *save* my hair and my sanity by spreading the word about my novels, e-books, and e-shorts available through out the internet.  Please consider telling one friend a day to check out my work–the e-shorts can be an easy sell!  And by saving my hair, you’re guaranteed more books, audio and otherwise.

Phil Rossi on Amazon

Phil Rossi on Smashwords

Let’s face it folks.  Life happens.  Life happens when we least expect it and sometimes it can be a real slap in the mommy-daddy box.  I’ll admit it—and though it’s far from over–2011 has so far been year of personal struggles, of triumphs, and defeats.  Laughter and tears have been in no short supply along the way.  But I’ll tell you something else: my life is full of some incredible people who really stepped it up with love and support when it counted. I’m one lucky and perhaps undeserving son of bitch.

After a brutal winter and an even longer Spring, I headed into the Summer writing new fiction and recording a new record with the band. Things were looking good. Things are still looking good.

…but

I recently joined the ranks of the unemployed.  If you follow my social media streams, this is the big life change I’ve been talking about.  For the first time in more than ten years, I’m without a day job. It’s liberating and terrifying at the same time.  And though I’m beating the street daily in search of gainful employment, I also see this as an opportunity to pursue writing and music as a career.

The financial ramifications of losing my job are very real.  Expenses that seemed to be trivial are now anything but.  It’s ironic that I’m now in position to pursue my passions, but can’t afford to do so.  Just when I was priming to record, narrate, and broad cast new fiction, I’m now faced with the grim fact that paying for something as simple as file hosting and bandwidth is now something that I’m likely going to have to eliminate.

I’ve had a lifetime struggle with asking for help.  I’m reticent to do so even now.  But, if you’ve enjoyed my audio work in the past and want to see more from me in the future, consider making a donation or buying one of my ebook shorts.  A little bit from each of you could help immeasurably. It sucks that I have to view the podcasting piece as “what is the return on this investment.”  Regardless, there has to be some return on the investment of time.  Everything will work out as it’s supposed to.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned during the first half of 2011, no matter how difficult times can get, you can always fight through it and move on to a better place.  In the end, you’re stronger for and the world becomes just a bit bigger.

I nearly forgot the bliss of finishing a story.  I just inserted the final punctuation on my contribution for the Ministry of Peculiar Occurences: Tales from the Archives anthology.  For me, completing any creative project is a validating experience.  It is a reminder that I can indeed start something and finish it.  After a long drought, that is an important message.  It wasn’t so hard–it didn’t even hurt one bit.  And now that I’m done with this draft, I’m already thinking “what can I write next?”

After finishing the first draft comes some legwork.  The rewrites and edits–the privilege of any writer and where the story truly starts to sing. Chisel away the imperfections, fill in the holes, add a little spice, a little extra swagger, and voila–the beast is a living, breathing thing that can be shared with with all.  Am I eager to get this piece of fiction out there? Hell yes. It’s a testament that I haven’t gone anywhere and will be around doing this for a long time to come.

It’s been more than a week since my last post (since my last confession).  I’m happy to report that I’ve written almost everyday since the 9th.  I won’t say that it hasn’t been a challenge–the plot and setting of this story require a lot of thought and quite a bit of research, but because of that, the process itself feels new and fresh.  I’m relearning patience and even though this is a piece of short fiction, I’m comfortable knowing that I won’t finish it for another week.

What’s been the hardest part? The first few minutes where I sit down.  I don’t hit the ground running so much as I hit the ground and lay there for a while. I start first by crawling and then by walking. Ultimately, I hit my stride.   When I come into that zone, it’s like I never left in the first place.  One idea sparks another idea, and like that, I’m creating.  It’s nice to know that I can still surprise myself.  The best part–I’m having a good time at it.