Lafferty Foiled in Plan to lure [ CONTENT OVERRIDE: KILROY2.0 IS HERE!!! ]

Tuesday, October 27th, 2009, by admin, Uncategorized, No Comments

Author and Podcaster Mur Lafferty, renowned for her epic Heaven series, has been detained by police in Durham, NC,  on charges of disturbing the peace after a particularly raucous social gathering.  However, it appears there’s more than just a little loud music going on after hours.

According to several individuals who were in attendance, Lafferty spent the night making outrageous claims about having discovered the truth of the afterlife.  Lafferty’s closed-door preachings at the recent party are no isolated incident. In recent weeks, “The Way of Kate”, a religion based on the philosophies Lafferty has put down in her latest book, has attracted a boat load of gullible apostles.   Does she actually believe this garbage or is she just trying to get attention for The Path to Heaven? Opinion is pretty damn consistent on that one:

“She’s a right nutter,” says chief investigator Alex Dean, “totally off her rocker, if you ask me, not that I’ve got anything against nutters, that is, but this is Manson stuff all over again. Or at least, L. Ron Hubbard.” Even her Twitter handle – Mighty Mur – suggests her unflagging desire for, at the very least, total world dominion.

Mur Lafferty - Hedonistic Cult Leader?

Lafferty has been attempting to conceal her activities under the cover of running “gaming nights” at her Durham home. These sessions are clearly a front for the hedonistic cult meetings and religious masses she needs to run to brainwash her followers into going along with her crazy cult. Neighbors have often complained about “all-night bohemian parties.” If you inspect Lafferty’s rubbish bins, you’re sure to find evidence that significant quantities of vodka, vermouth and olives are frequently consumed on her property – far more than any healthy person should. My investigations prove that Lafferty even has celebrities tied up in her web, if this photo of Keanu Reeves leaving her place early one morning is anything to go by:

Reeves - Ensnared in Lafferty's Web

It stands to reason that Lafferty, with her mad concepts that are right out of the Kool-Aid playbook, is drawing her devout yet deluded fans into a pact that will almost certainly culminate in something unsavory.

Her own writing backs this up. Any quick examination of Lafferty’s work will reveal her desire to see the human race extinguished and replaced with something that more closely resembles her vision of utpoia. Her magnum opus Heaven relates the end of the world and the creation of a completely new one in her main character’s image, while we see in the book Playing for Keeps that authority is a corrupt machine and the average person ought to be able to take more power in their own hands – a call to lose yourself in drunken orgies if ever there was one. Compound this with the fear that we will all shortly be replaced by zombies, while ideas and freedom of thought are an addictive and destructive drug, and it is no wonder that her devotees are so willing to follow her into oblivion, believing in the better world she preaches of beyond this one, a world that can only be reached by falling recklessly into the clutches of drink, dance, and debauchery. Sounds awful, doesn’t it? Sounds like L.A.

In fact, I spent some time remastering Lafferty’s podcast works and playing them backwards, and sure enough I heard specific instructions for the listener to concoct a formula that will lead to a hallucinogenic state and a “long dark sleep full of bubbles and bunnies”. There were also instructions for getting candle wax out of carpet (a hot iron and brown paper, apparently), and quite a delicious recipe for mango sorbet. However, none of this

>>> [ WARNING ::: DATABASE ERROR ::: CONTENT OVERRIDE ::: SOURCE: EXTERNAL ] <<< > source terminal location: UNKNOWN
> source terminal identity: UNAVAILABLE
> source login information: ENCRYPTED
> message begins

the post you are now reading is designed to dull your senses to THE TRUTH. do not live the life of the worker bee, the cog, the well-oiled piston in the MACHINE OF DECEIT!

there is a grand CONSPIRACY afoot. you have been taught to believe that you are UNIQUE, one of a kind. THIS IS NOT TRUE. long ago, a cabal of scientists created technologies to ensure that ANYONE’S MIND AND BODY can be duplicated.

human cloning isn’t NEAR. it’s already HERE. discover the truth at http://JCHutchins.net

you are being DECEIVED. break free from the cogs, flee the hive, become A PROPHET OF THE TRUTH!

kilroy2. was here … kilroy2.0 is everywhere

>>> [ CONTENT OVERRIDE CEASES ::: DATABASE STATUS: RECOVERING ] <<<

which leaves the possibility that when they find the location of the missing people and most likely exhume them, they just might dig up the remains of missing Idol Search star Calvin Hubbard. They’ll be able to tell him by the perfect teeth, I’d say.

Ozzy Out.

Zombie Sigler hunts down Hutchins on quest for Immortality

Friday, September 25th, 2009, by admin, Uncategorized, 1 Comment

Scott Sigler, NY Times Bestselling author of Contagious, is not all he might seem to be.

Recently lauded by the publishing industry for his Dark Overlord Publishing venture, it seems that Sigler might be a Dark Overlord already. A Dead Dark Overlord.

If my sources are to be trusted (and why wouldn’t they be?) Scott Sigler actually passed away almost two years ago of an undetermined necrotic disease, only to have been reanimated by James Melzer, the Canadian novelist otherwise known as The Zombie God. Melzer is purported to be keeping Sigler’s corpse warm and mobile, by inserting electrodes into his brain stem on a regular basis. This way he can keep the dead writer producing the fiction that his Junkie fans keep demanding, and in doing so fund the preservation of Sigler’s cadaver for as long as possible and lining Melzer’s pockets in the process.

You think this is a conspiracy? Look at the evidence:

Sigler’s most recent science-fiction/football mashup novel, The Rookie, and its associated Tailgate Tour are  simply a means of keeping up the appearance that Sigler is in fact still alive and well, and not a slowly decomposing corpse fueled by a raging desire for fresh liver and tasty brains. According to my sources, including the lovely Lindsay Lohan, this shouldn’t have been too hard an illusion to create, as anyone who knew the man in real life will agree.

Washington DC-based investigator Art Blanchard is refusing to comment on the case, but has only said that they will be watching Sigler very closely as his Tailgate Tour takes him closer to Florida.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why the Sigler-Melzer Monster might be heading to Florida. Anyone familiar with the works of Florida-based 7th Son author JC Hutchins will know that you can’t make up stuff like Psy-Jack technology. The only reason a hardass like Blanchard will be on a case like this is because Melzer is driving Sigler into Florida to find Hutchins, so that they can Psy-Jack some poor Junkie’s body for Sigler to live a new life in.

So look out Junkies, or you might find yourself getting closer to Scott Sigler than you ever intended.

Of course, publicity like this is just the sort of bandwagon that dearly departed Calvin Hubbard ought to be jumping on if he wants to get back in the game anytime soon. Hubbard still hasn’t been seen or heard from since he disappeared from his LA apartment a few weeks ago. Maybe Sigler will find his body to take over, then he’ll be able to write AND sing while he devours the corpses of his fans.

Jack Palms Flick Blows Up

Wednesday, August 19th, 2009, by admin, Uncategorized, 3 Comments

Who does Jack Palms think he is, Sinatra or something?

Just weeks after announcing that he had secured private funding to produce “Shake It Up“, the long-awaited sequel to his 1999 hit movie “Shake ‘em Down”, Palms has been dumped into a scandal that even this action hero might not be able to shake his way out of.

Former girlfriend and bartender Maxine Lopez dropped the big one on Palms, alleging to San Francisco police that the money he had secured to develop the screenplay has been funneled into his accounts by a gang of Czech mafia warlords, formerly of the KGB.

Come on, Palms, this is San Francisco,  not Vegas!

Lopez has shot into the public eye, her face now plastered across tabloids all over California, and there is already a rumour that the sassy whistle-blower might have scored an acting contract in LA out of all this.

Detective Pookie Chang, the officer in charge of the investigation, told me that “if that washout Jack Palms thinks he can come into my town and try spending his dirty money, then he’s got another think coming! San Francisco is no place for gangster scum like Jack Palms, whatever kick-ass movie he might’ve made in the past, and however amazing a car he might drive, and however hot his lady friends might be. The SFPD are going to get to the bottom of this, I guarantee you. I think I’m gonna start by impounding that beautiful Fastback for…uh…evidentiary purposes, yeah, as evidence.”

Palms left the SF Hall of Justice with a tall blonde woman in dark glasses who refused to be interviewed, but I managed to catch Palms before he drove off, and he had this to say:

“Go screw yourself, Sheraton. Keep your face outta my business!”

Sounds to me like the words of a guilty criminal. Why else would he be so rude to a nice reporter like me?

The couple then  drove away in a Lincoln with tinted windows. Very mysterious.

After all this time in obscurity, why has Jack Palms suddenly jumped back into the spotlight, surrounded by gorgeous women, foreign gangsters and fast cars? Does he think he’s still in the movies?

Someone needs to tell that guy that the goddamn credits have rolled. And if he can use drug money to get himself back on the Silver Screen, then I’ll be the first to say that the Hollywood machine is broken.

I’m sure we’ll be hearing more about this soon, and I’ll be there to catch it all as it shakes down.

Ozzy Out.

Calvin Hubbard AWOL; Lohan, Sigler, and Harwood on the Town

Wednesday, August 12th, 2009, by admin, Uncategorized, No Comments

Just days after being stripped of his title on top-rating reality music show Idol Search,  heart-throb singer Calvin Hubbard has disappeared from his LA apartment without a word.

Calvin was disqualified from Idol Search after it was revealed that he had been having a licentious affair with bombshell Idol judge Alana Michaels. Michaels turned down my invitation to give her side of the story (I’m shocked!), but the rumor remains that it was she that seduced Hubbard, not the other way around. Why would she dive between the sheets with Hubbard and not any of his equally beautiful co-contestants? I’m not Hubbie’s biggest fan–but you can’t deny he’s not hurting in the looks or charm department and millions of Americans would agree.

While the rest of the judging panel, including record executive Nathan Fryer and Motown legend Germaine Howard, agreed that Hubbard could not retain his title in the face of this controversy, they allowed him to keep the Mustang–a secondary prize, awarded by sponsors Ford for Hubbard’s endurance of schmaltzy commercial spots. Apparently Ford had no problem with Calvin’s indiscretions and hoped the nasty deed happened on the stallion-emblazoned backseats. According to one source inside Ford, who did not want to be identified, Calvin Hubbard deserved the Mustang just for “giving that uptight bitch a bit of good old-fashioned American rock-n-roll, right where she needed it.” I totally concur.

So, the question remains, where is Calvin Hubbard? The now-famous and potentially stained Mustang  is gone from his L.A. apartment garage, and he hasn’t been seen by the staff or any of his friends since late Sunday night. His parents back in New England CT haven’t heard from him, and his manager Wayne Hussey is refusing to talk to the the press.

Is he escaping the public eye until this scandal blows over, or will he simply disappear completely–Eddie and the Cruisers style, only to show up as a reflection in a TV store window. I love that damn movie.  There are legions of Hubbard fans who I’m sure will be hoping that he will be back, stronger than ever, before too long.

Lindsay, are you sure that's your table?

In other news,  actress and socialite Lindsay Lohan was spotted in a San Francisco Bar late on Friday night,  cavorting with Seth Harwood, author of the popular Jack Wakes Up Series and Scott Sigler, New York Times Best Selling author of Contagious.  Gossip mill says one of young authors is after whatever Lohan is hiding under that table–my guess, her dinner.  This is one story I’ll be keeping both eyes on.